Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever

A young boy said to his mother, 'How old were you when I was born?' His mother replied, '28.' 'Wow, that's a lot of time we missed spending together.' 


I love that quote. How beautiful that a child would be so connected to the mother/child  bond that he would see the value of time shared with family.
  

Mom, 1959

When I was a little girl, all my stuffed animals and dolls became my babies, each having their own name and personality. All I wanted was to be a mommy when I grew up. I loved sitting and watching my mother "put on her face", or bake a pie. Saturday mornings she would wake us up by opening the curtains to let that God-awful bright light in, singing very loudly in her wonderful soprano voice "Oh, what a beautiful morning..." as we groaned and begged her to stop while secretly loving it! I would picture myself someday as a mom with my own child watching me go through my day or pulling the pillow over his head to drown out my voice as I tried to wake him from a deep sleep.

Drew & me, 1988

As the years passed and daily life in the average American household changed, I held tight to that dream of becoming someone so important to such a tiny person whom I would someday hold in my arms and love unconditionally. The most important person in his universe. Someone so tiny. Someone who relied on me and trusted me from the moment he first opened his eyes and gazed into mine. There were those who ridiculed me for wanting motherhood as my chosen path in life, but I held tight to my desire to have a family. I have never regretted that decision.

Chris and me, 1989

Before I became a mother I had never been peed on, pooped on, barfed on or drooled on. I slept through the night, usually had a clean house and showered every day. I also had never felt the warmth of a soft, little baby snuggle into my body or fall asleep on me. I had never sat up at night just to watch someone sleep or listen to him breathe. I had not listened to a child tell me of his dreams while sitting on my lap and playing with my hair. I had never felt my heart break when I couldn't stop his pain or sadness. I had no idea how it would feel to know the sheer joy of a baby's giggle or a first step.

Drew and me, 2011

I cried when my firstborn started kindergarten and again when my youngest received his college diploma. The pain of letting go is equal to the joy of watching them spread their wings and take flight. It's altogether terrifying and yet thrilling to go through this life with these little boys. To watch them grow into kind young men with lives of their own, watch them become parents themselves is a culmination of my life's purpose. An achievement that speaks of itself.

Chris and me, 2009

My children have delighted me with their recipes for corn juice ("you need an apple press and lots of corn") and chocolate mousse ("well, Mom, first you have to catch the moose..."). They have amazed me with their intelligence, wit and charm. They have inspired me with their musical talent and achievement of goals. But mostly they have made me so very proud to call them my sons and my friends.




That's not to say that kids won't hesitate to remind Mom of all the things she did "wrong" once they become knowledgeable teens. A mother can take those moments and have regrets or she can calmly say to them, "You know, you didn't come with instructions. Every new stage you go through as a young boy or man, I go through with you as a first time mother." We survive the difficult years, and hopefully as they mature they come back to love you and respect you more than ever.  

 

Mom with her first Great-Grandson

My own mother raised five of us with little to no help from our father. She always had enough time and love to make each of us feel important and cared for. She wasn't the perfect mom. Neither am I. But she gave me what I needed to become a positive role model in my own children's lives. In the last few years she has become increasingly frail. This beautiful woman who gave birth to me, colored pictures with me, wiped my tears and always had open arms for me when I needed a hug. To watch her go through this process is both sad and scary. I find myself in a role reversal where I, along with my siblings, am caring for her now, as she once cared for me. I am reminded to be patient, calm, tolerant, kind and a giver of my time. I may have to listen to the same stories again and again, help her to find comfort and confidence when she feels lost, make sure she never feels alone and just be with her and understand her as she enters her final stages of life, to be there for her as she always was for me.


As I write this I realize it's just past midnight, Mother's Day, 2012. So to all moms, young and old, moms 'due any day now', mothers who have lost their children, mothers who still dream of the day... I wish you all a very happy day filled with love and fond memories. And may we all remember our own mothers with love, respect and admiration for all they gave to us and all they gave up for us.

Mom with my Grandmother, 1940's

My retirement went to wall street and all I got was this lousy t-shirt...

Occupy Wall Street has taken us by storm. You'd never know it to listen to or watch the media coverage, though. First they wouldn't cover it at all. Then they got shamed into it (or more likely just decided it might be good for ratings). Then they told us it was just spoiled white kids and hippies who forgot where to go to the bathroom. Huh?

So, what are we complaining about, you ask? Do we even know? Glad you asked! We, THE PEOPLE, are not Republicans. Not Democrats. We are PISSED OFF. What's that? You think we don't even know what we're protesting about here? Bless yer little heart, honey. Sit yer self down fer a spell and let ol' Maimeo explain it to ya.

We are protesting the fact that three years ago Wall Street destroyed 20% of our national net worth and not one person involved has been held responsible. We're "upset about the fact that Wall Street has iron control over the economic policies of our country and that one party is a wholly owned subsidiary of Wall Street and the other party caters to them, as well". [thank you, Alan Grayson for that quote]
I love the thoughts of one lovely 93 year old woman, Esther, who says "Social Security is our money. Workers fund Social Security, not the government. And Social Security didn't cause their budget deficit, so why is Congress even considering breaking its promise to millions who need it now and in the future?" She goes on to say "Let's put billionaires on notice. The tax breaks are over. Let's put corporations on notice. The loopholes are over. Let's put Congress on notice. Americans of all ages expect YOU to keep Social Security's promise." So wise.
Here's an idea: let's make the banks bail us all out by refinancing our home loans at 3.75%! HA!
Alan Grayson was mocked by a clownish, Econ 101 flunkee for his candor regarding why OWS protesters are upset. P.J. O'Rourke laughed at him and ridiculed him by suggesting he get a bongo drum and become the spokesman for OWS. Grayson's calm demeanor and intelligent, well-researched response was clear. He said, "If I am a spokesman for all the people who think we should not have 24 million in this country who can't find a full time job, 50 million people in this country who can't see a doctor when they're sick, that we shouldn't have 47 million people in this country who need government help in order to feed themselves and we shouldn't have 15 million families who owe more on their mortgage than on the value of their home - okay, I'll be that spokesman." He was given a standing ovation that could be felt nationwide.
Oh, and occupy this thought, NYPD... the first amendment to the U.S. Constitution is part of the Bill of Rights. The amendment prohibits the making of any law interfering with the right to peaceably assemble. Just in case you hadn't heard...
Now, give me back my retirement. [cue cheesy grin here]

If I am what I eat, I must be nuts

Well, what a way to end the summer break before heading back to work on Friday. First a check under the hood followed by getting the headlights looked at and then off to have my windows checked. And last, but not least, a brake job. Next up - a check of the exhaust system.

Now, of course, only one of those really IS about a car. The rest? Let's just say I'm in excellent health!

I take my health very seriously, but that doesn't mean I can't lighten things up a bit, now does it? I encourage everyone to make sure you get your checkups and screenings scheduled and done.

I plan on living long enough to become a wrinkly, dried up ol' lady! Not one of those grouchy ones who always complains about her aches and pains and "today's young people". No, sir! I want to take the other path and be one of the old folks everybody loves. Sweet, docile and a joy to be around. That way, if/when I get a little nutty or fart with every step across a crowded room or ask loudly 'what are we doing here?' in the middle of my great grandson's nuptials, people will smile and make sure I am well cared for and just love me.

So if you want to have wheelchair races with me at the old folk's home someday and laugh and giggle our way to the very end, please get your annual gyno/prostate exams, mammograms, eyes checked out and a colonoscopy. And get your brakes done on your car when they need it! What good is excellent health if you can't stop in time?

A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.

Life is too short to drink bad wine

Uh-oh, writer's block... Is this it? I know what I want to write about, I just can't seem to get started. Hmmmm.... well, then off to Purple Smile Wines for some tasting to get the creative juices flowing. Literally.

I love wine. Good wine. So much so that recently I decided to just slow 'er down a tad. But as the ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus said, "Be moderate in order to taste the joys of life in abundance." Makes sense to me. So my few tastes of the good fruit add up to a glass and now I'm burning up the keyboard like a secretary from Mad Men after a slap on the fanny!

When Pat and I see a film in the theatre we can't bring ourselves to pay laughable amounts of money for popcorn and sodas. Thus we bring the Beer Purse. We put a couple beers or a bottle of vino in it along with some nuts, cheese, etc and sit in the back row, enjoying the film in style. This worked great until one evening I accidentally knocked the empty bottle over and it rolled downhill all the way to the front row and everyone giggled as it 'clanked' when it hit. You could hear it rolling and picking up speed all the way down. argh... The next time we hunkered down a few rows from the back in a fairly empty theatre and sure enough some people came along and sat down right behind us. "Hello, people! There's something wrong with the other 97 empty seats in this theatre? You just HAD to sit behind US?" Ahem...

I don't even really care that much about having this beverage in the theatre. It's the sneaking it in and getting away with it that keeps me coming back (reminds me of sneaking Wendy into the drive-in movies in the trunk of the car back in high school). Now some theatres are even stooping so low as to check purses upon entry. So, how do we attend to this situation? We buy The Wine Rack! No, silly, not a wine rack. THE Wine Rack - it's a sports bra with a bladder in it that holds an entire bottle of wine or other beverage of choice. But wait! There's more! Added benefit - it makes me look like a DD. Talk about a rack! Check THAT, Cinema dude! HA! The only worry is that if it's filled with red wine and springs a leak... how do you explain you're lactating cabernet?

Well, besides wearing a purple shirt and drinking up in a hurry (not a good option) I would have to just chalk it up to another teachable moment and laugh about it.

Either way, wine to me is not just a beverage. It's art. It's passion. It's good food, good company and good health. Perhaps it's pleasing to me because as I age, I slow down a little and see things differently than when I was much younger. I see the importance of enjoying every day and the components I've mentioned all lead to a richer life.

"With years a richer life begins, the spirit mellow: ripe age gives tones to violins, wine and good fellows" John Townsend Trowbridge

"When the fun is done, the adventure begins"

That quote is from a dear little boy who sees the world through innocent eyes. Have you ever wondered what life would be like if adults would communicate with each other the way children do? Just walk into a room where you know no one and see how long it takes another adult to approach you. But watch the kids and they will immediately be drawn to each other like magnets and begin playing together. No need for introductions. Like puppies at the 'arf park' - same thing. They simply enjoy the camaraderie without inhibitions.

I spent the weekend camping with dear friends and family on Camano Island with several children in attendance. Sitting back and watching them interact with each other and with adults was fascinating. They will not only 'say it like it is', but while they are speaking they may stroke your hair or play with your jacket zipper as matter-of-factly as if they were sipping a cup of coffee during conversation. Gives me cause to take an introspective look at how I communicate with others.

Next time I'm at Boundary Bay Brewery I'm going to strike up a conversation with whomever is sitting next to me and challenge him or her to a hula hooping contest and see where it takes us. Who knows, I may make a friend for life. But don't expect me to play with their zipper!

Wonder Woman may be stacked, but she doesn't know Jack about...

Sssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh... don't tell anyone, but, I have secret powers. Yes, sirree. Truth is, I've known this for a long time.

[cue: Superman theme song]

Years ago I worked in customer service and a visitor remarked "You are a very capable woman!", and there it was... my new SuperHero name: Capable Woman. I even had a nametag to prove it. Well, it was better than the old nametag: B.O.W. That one was merely for a coworker who apparently didn't care much for me as her lead and was sharing with anyone and everyone that I was the Bitch On Wheels. So, of course, I had the nametag made in order to put an end to her malicious, defamatory remarks. It worked, too! But I digress...

It has recently come to my attention that the middleborn child (which I am) is not the neglected, overlooked and confused mess our society has characterized us as for so long. Research has shown that we are 'beholders of secret powers'. Yeah! Turns out the archaic perception of middleborns as being resentful loners with a negative outlook on life and shying away from the spotlight has been wrong all along. Well, duh... Capable Woman could've told you that! We are "self-aware team players with remarkable diplomatic skills" according to this research. We are outgoing, flexible, motivated more by fairness than money and have a deep sense of family, friends and loyalty. We are not a supercilious bunch, although we tend to assess others based on how they treat another living being. Well now, these are superpowers I can be proud of!

I see all of us as having these traits and more - regardless of our birth order. I believe we are molded by our families, life experiences and society's perceptions and labels put upon us. It is up to each of us to set the record straight and show the world our best selves.

Now, if only my secret powers could transport me to Olive Garden where Mr. Wonderful awaits my arrival. SuperHeroes aren't supposed to be late for lunch!

We the Peeps...

That's it! I'm starting my own country. It shall be known as Moxie. It'll be a micro-nation so we'd better have micro-homes, microbreweries and micro-workweeks. We'll skip the microphones and microwaves, thank you very much. We, the peeps, will be proud of our autonomy and simplicity. We will not feel the need for constant reassurance that we are the greatest country in the world, because it just won't matter. We will have no debt issues due to the fact that we will have no monetary base. Our tribe will enjoy life's necessities and appreciate anything more than that as a condition of great ease and comfort. Life in Moxie is simple. Our basic philosophy is taken directly from Robert Fulghum's All I Ever Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten. The following is an excerpt from his book.


Wisdom was not at the top of the grad school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Kindergarten. Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Share everything.

Play fair.

Don't hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don't take things that aren't yours.

Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.

Be aware of wonder.

Remember the Dick and Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.

Take any of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or your government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if all - the whole world - had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.
Robert Fulghum, 1990.©

LOOK. LISTEN. BREATHE.